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The All-SOB Team

Posted by Steve S. at 2:00 pm Add comments
Aug 152010

On the heels of the Frankie Rodriguez fiasco, I wanted to assemble a team of the biggest jerks in the history of the game. A collection of the cads, clowns and criminals that Baseball has known over the years. All together on one team, just imagine being a beat reporter in that clubhouse.

Ladies and Gentlemen, your All-SOB squad:

C-A.J. Pierzynski
1B-Cap Anson
2B-Jeff Kent
SS-Larry Bowa
3B-Ty Cobb
RF-Carl Everett
CF-Milton Bradley
LF-Barry Bonds

DH-Albert Belle

Bench-Elijah Dukes, Jose Offerman, Jim Rice

#1 Starter-Juan Marichal (Johnny Roseboro says hello)

#2 Starter-Roger Clemens

#3 Starter-Josh Beckett

#4 Starter-Randy Johnson

#5 Starter-Steve Carlton

Long man-Bill “Spaceman” Lee

Bullpen-Brett Myers, Jonathan Papelbon, John Rocker

Closer-Frankie Rodriguez

Manager-Ozzie Guillen

Bench Coach-Lou Pinella

Bullpen Coach-Billy Martin

Third Base Coach-Tommy Lasorda (just to see him fall over again)

Majority Owned by Charlie Comiskey with Marge Schott and Tom Yawkey as ‘minority’ owners

(Thanks to Eric (TSJC) and others @ RAB for help with this post)

18 Responses to “The All-SOB Team”

  1. Randy Johnson’s just a grouch who was teased as a kid because of his size.  (Quote)

    [Reply To This Comment]

    Steve S. Reply:

    I like Randy, he gave the Yanks everything he had and went beyond the call with injuries that would have sidelined most players. But I think he’d be the first to tell you he was a mean SOB in his prime.  (Quote)

    [Reply To This Comment]

  2. “Spaceman” Lee is on here purely for being a Sux…doesn’t deserve it.
    Where’s Bobby Bonilla, Vince Coleman, Kevin Mitchell?  (Quote)

    [Reply To This Comment]

    Steve S. Reply:

    His recent comments on Steinbrenner’s passing earned him a spot.  (Quote)

    [Reply To This Comment]

    Kiko Jones Reply:

    Duly noted.  (Quote)

    [Reply To This Comment]

  3. Nolan Ryan?  (Quote)

    [Reply To This Comment]

    Steve S. Reply:

    Nah, in his case it was unintentional. He had no idea where the ball was going. All time leader in Walks by a mile.

    http://www.baseball-reference.com/leaders/BB_p_career.shtml  (Quote)

    [Reply To This Comment]

  4. I have to say, that looks like a pretty good roster. Looks like the SOBs will be winning a lot of games, adding to the adage “Nice guys finish last” ;-)   (Quote)

    [Reply To This Comment]

    Steve S. Reply:

    Oh yeah. Each of them in their primes, that team might beat anyone.  (Quote)

    [Reply To This Comment]

  5. No Braden?  (Quote)

    [Reply To This Comment]

    Steve S. Reply:

    Too insignificant. He needs to add some more asshole-yness to his resume.  (Quote)

    [Reply To This Comment]

  6. Carl Yaz. Even if he wasn’t a Red Sox he should start on this team. Bouton’s Ball Four detailed what a self-centered jerk he was.  (Quote)

    [Reply To This Comment]

  7. Spaceman Lee was and is deserving of a spot on any all-MLB jerk list.

    Marichal was, other than the Roseboro incident, supposedly one of baseball’s nicest persons. I don’t think one aberration should get you on the list. Otherwise, it should be a lot longer.

    You left off commissioner: Landis in a landslide. Racism among a few other character flaws.  (Quote)

    [Reply To This Comment]

    Steve S. Reply:

    “Other than the Roseboro incident” reminds me of the old line “Other than that, Mrs Lincoln, how was the play?”. But duly noted.

    If it makes you feel any better, Don Drysdale and Sal Maglie just missed the cut.  (Quote)

    [Reply To This Comment]

  8. Why not Miguel Cabrera?  (Quote)

    [Reply To This Comment]

    Steve S. Reply:

    I’m sure his wife would agree, but I guess I just love him too much as a hitter.  (Quote)

    [Reply To This Comment]

  9. I’d have to add Doc Ellis to the rotation – not a dick, but certainly a character  (Quote)

    [Reply To This Comment]

  10. Gary Carter should be w/ this group…..  (Quote)

    [Reply To This Comment]

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